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What Are Men Really Thinking on a First Date?

Women First Date - What do men really think?

So you spent all that time reading self help books, taking advice from friends, maybe even visiting a website or two for some pre-date guidance on how to act on a first date. You think you have it all figured out, arriving to your date confident, looking beautiful, and ready to impress.

Not so fast. Often times women think they are acting, dressing, and behaving exactly the way a man wants them to, but little do they know, the reaction they are attempting to induce is completely contrary to what they think is occurring in the minds of their dates. Let’s take a look at what men are really thinking with women on dates.

What’s he really thinking?

1. The “just a salad girl.”

What women are thinking: I don’t want to overeat in front of a man or look as if I don’t take care of myself. Men love women who are fit and have great bodies. I’ll just order a salad and show him that I can be one of those girls.

What men are thinking: Damn. I love to eat and really like a girl that can let loose once in a while. Is she going to be the type of girl that is always watching her weight? Talk about boring.

2. The expensive wine or fancy mixed drink girl.

What women are thinking: I should order an interesting wine to show that I am cultured and have good taste.

What men are thinking: How much is this ridiculous drink, 15 dollars? There goes a quarter of my budget for the night. I wish I could find a down to earth girl that could just order a three dollar draft, hang with the guys, and enjoy an ice cold beer once in a while. I hope this girl isn’t too high-maintenance

3. The I keep talking about all my accomplishments girl.

What women are thinking: The point of a date is to show your best qualities. I hope all the great things I’ve done in my life impress him.

What men are thinking: Why won’t this girl stop telling me about her accolades. Does she think I’m interviewing her for a job, or does she just love to brag? This is so annoying.

4. The I keep telling story after story about my past girl.

What women are thinking: These stories or so funny. Oh my god, he is going to love this next one even more!

What men are thinking: Does this woman ever stop talking? Let’s create an experience of our own tonight, not relive every event you’ve had with someone else.

5. The I am going to dress completely respectful girl.

What women are thinking: I’m going to look beautiful, but respectful. This guy is going to be blown away by what a classy and beautiful woman he is meeting.

What men are thinking: Damn. This girl is pretty but has no sex appeal at all. Why is she dressed like my mom? I wonder if she is boring in all aspects of her life.

6. The constantly talking about previous bad dates girl.

What women are thinking: These stories are so funny. He’s going to love hearing about all the crazy dates I’ve been on.

What men are thinking: Wow. How many dates has this girl been on? This sounds kind of desperate. I hope she’s not the crazy one. Clearly she has trouble finding a man.

7. The I like this guy, but I don’t kiss on a first date girl.

What women are thinking: I like this guy. I don’t want him to think I am easy by letting him kiss me on a first date. I’ll make him wait it out.

What men are thinking: What kind of girl has a first date rule of no kissing? That’s so lame. Just go with what you are feeling. Or maybe this girl doesn’t really like me. She hugged me and left so fast you would have thought I had the bubonic plague!


Joshua Pompey - First Date WomenJoshua Pompey provides online dating advice to people all over the world. Click here for plenty more free advice from Joshua Pompey, or just click


by Suzanne Oshima

Suzanne K. Oshima is a Matchmaker, Dating Coach & Founder at Dream Bachelor & Bachelorette. She is also the Founder of Single in Stilettos, which gives women the best dating advice & tips to help them meet, attract & keep the one. Suzanne has been seen on Bravo TV, The Today Show, Good Afternoon America, Inside Edition, BBC Radio, Glamour Magazine, Men’s Health and much more!

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Experts seen on:
Bravo TVOprahToday ShowGMAGlamourInside Edition