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Show #206: My guest on the show is Cyndi Olin, Relationship Strategist & Coach at Create Your Own Luck in Love.
Beware of These Kind of Relationships
Fascinated by men and relationships for as long as she can remember, Cyndi Olin worked as a high-end matchmaker and studied the ways in which strong relationships were made. She realized that teaching others how to build those connections was her true calling, and she works now to offer relationship advice for women and men in understanding the opposite sex to make for better, happier love lives.
This week, we discuss the two types of relationships you need to recognize and beware of. Cyndi will offer her relationship advice for women struggling to determine the difference between the right connection and the wrong one!
The Fast and Furious Relationship
The first type of relationship to beware of is the “fast and furious” relationship where things just seem to go from zero to sixty in little to no time at all, as Cyndi describes. All the chemistry is there at once, and the two of you go from spending one date together to every day. With these types of relationships, it’s easy to get swept up and simply follow along with the fast pace. These types of men, Cyndi explains, are inadvertently chemically attracted to women that crave love. While it may seem like a fairy tale in the beginning, these men will often bring things to a screeching halt usually between six weeks to three months into the relationship. They may stop calling or even disappear completely, claiming that they’re just not ready for a relationship.
But why do these men, seemingly so invested and sincere, suddenly change so drastically? The reason, Cyndi explains, is when the relationship goes from being a simple fantasy and into reality, these men lose the ability to continue forward. The relationship didn’t have the opportunity to build the foundation needed for a strong, lasting bond, and so it simply ends with them leaving as quickly as they arrived. Remember ladies, it’s up to you to control the pace of the relationship. Don’t let the fear of losing him keep you from slowing down the pace. If he leaves, he was never really meant to be there. By slowing the pace down, he gets a chance to truly know you.
Dating the Narcissistic Psychopath
The second type of relationship to beware of are those in which you find yourself falling for narcissistic, psychopathic type of man—these relationships are very dangerous situations to find yourself in. These men are very charming and alluring, but the thing to realize is that everything is always about them! Once they get you hooked, however, they are able to display their true selves—self-interested, self-centered, and self-indulging. These men are patient enough that with the right woman, they will put in the work to get her completely fixated so that she will find herself returning to him time after time.
Eventually, Cyndi explains, this type of man will slowly start to criticize you. Nothing ever seems to be good enough for him, and you will find yourself feeling confined, almost as if you’re being kept in a box. You’ll be left constantly questioning yourself and wondering whether it is in fact you that’s in the wrong and not your partner. Often times, this gives way to feelings of obligation. You’ll begin to feel as though you must prove yourself in the relationship, and you begin to contribute more to your partner than he contributes to you. This results in an unhappy relationship in which the man becomes more and more powerful and power-hungry, making for an incredibly unhealthy, damaging situation. As Cyndi puts it, he’ll begin to start injecting poison little by little into the relationship. While it may be hard to notice on the surface, a man like this is in fact insecure, and he will benefit from keeping you in a controlled space.
Making the Relationship Work
But can relationships like these ever work? Is there ever a situation where it’s possible to have the “happily ever after” with a man like this?
In the first type of relationship, the answer is yes. As a woman, you always control the pace of the relationship. If you do decide to slow things down and find him staying by your side, then the relationship absolutely has the opportunity to flourish. If he disappears, you’ll discover right away that is isn’t the right one for you.
In the second type of relationship, however, it all depends on the level of a man’s narcissism and whether or not he truly desires to be self-aware and understanding of his partner. According to Cyndi, narcissists are often too lazy to break their habits and put in the effort to change, so a man with a very high level of narcissism will be very difficult to hold a successful relationship with. Remember ladies, for any relationship to work, your man has to be willing to work on himself.
Have you experienced one of these relationships for yourself? In the comments below, tell us your story and leave your thoughts on Cyndi’s relationship advice for women.
If you want to know the secrets on where to meet men, then check out my eBook, “The Secrets to Meeting Men!” – Find out how to meet men!