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Show #207: Stop Attracting Emotionally Unavailable Men

Stop Attracting Emotionally Unavailable Men
 

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Show #207: My guest on the show is Jaki Sabourin, Love & Dating Coach at Engaged at Any Age.

Stop Attracting Emotionally Unavailable Men

My guest on this week’s show is Jaki Sabourin, a love and dating coach at Engaged at Any Age. Jaki was single for eight years following a painful divorce before she worked with her own dating coach to find the man of her dreams. Now married, Jaki was inspired by her own struggles to help other women find love later in life.

On this week’s show, Jaki and I discuss how to stop attracting emotionally unavailable men.

Make Yourself Emotionally Available

Jaki’s first tip for how to stop attracting emotionally unavailable men is to stop yourself from being emotionally unavailable. Jaki explains that likes attract likes by the law of attraction—when you withdraw from a man like this, you yourself are showing signs of emotional unavailability. To combat this, start creating the sense of emotional availability in your interactions with men. If you go out with a man that’s angry, don’t withdraw. Show compassion and allow yourself to feel curious about him—don’t keep yourself from asking him more questions. By doing so, you’ll be able to create an opportunity for more intimacy.

Get Past Your Own Insecurities

Secondly, make an effort get past your own insecurities and take bigger risks with the men you’re dating. Gently ask him sensitive questions that will make him feel comfortable opening up to you. Often, the root of a man’s emotional unavailability is his own past and pain. Begin by asking him questions such as “What have you gone through?” or “Is there something that’s holding you back from finding love?” You’ll be able to make him aware of his own emotional unavailability, and you both won’t be finding yourself pushing each other away.

Don’t Fear Risking Rejection

Jaki’s finally tip for how to stop attracting emotionally unavailable men is to get over your fear of facing rejection. When we’re afraid of getting hurt, we withdraw ourselves and disconnect ourselves from our partners. By simply talking to your man and asking him questions with care and gentleness, you’ll be able to make him realize what he’s truly missing out on by putting up such a strong defense. Remember ladies—there is no perfect man or woman, and relationships are all about relating to each other in ways that strengthen connection.

What do you think about Jaki’s tips for how to stop attracting emotionally unavailable men? In the comments below, let us know your thoughts!

If you want to know the secrets on where to meet men, then check out my eBook, “The Secrets to Meeting Men!” – Find out how to meet men!

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by Suzanne Oshima

Suzanne K. Oshima is a Matchmaker, Dating Coach & Founder at Dream Bachelor & Bachelorette. She is also the Founder of Single in Stilettos, which gives women the best dating advice & tips to help them meet, attract & keep the one. Suzanne has been seen on Bravo TV, The Today Show, Good Afternoon America, Inside Edition, BBC Radio, Glamour Magazine, Men’s Health and much more!

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Experts seen on:
Bravo TVOprahToday ShowGMAGlamourInside Edition