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Show #205: How to Move a Stagnant Relationship to Commitment

How to Get to a Committed Relationship

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Show #205: My guest on the show is Duana Welch, Author of “Love Factually”.

How to Move a Stagnant Relationship to Commitment

On this week’s show, I welcome back Duana Welch, the author of Love Factually: 10 Steps from I Wish to I Do. With a PhD in developmental psychology and a clientele established over the course of the past 15 years, Duana offers her very own scientific method of finding lasting love and happiness to women that are struggling to build strong relationships just as she had.

This week, we discuss a topic that so many women seek the answer to: how to move a stagnant relationship into a committed relationship. Duana’s dating advice for women offers struggling ladies an inside-look into how she used science to get her to where she is today—celebrating her tenth year of marriage!

Avoid Direct Requests

Duana’s advice on how to move a stagnant relationship into commitment is to avoid directly asking him to move the relationship forward and instead making yourself seem less available.

Men like to take on the role of the pursuer—they are the ones that make the first phone call to schedule dates, and they are the ones to propose. By asking him to take the next step in the relationship, Duana explains that you go from potential “Mrs. Right” in a man’s mind to “Mrs. Right-Now.”

Let Him Know that He Could Lose You

In some cases, Duana says, the thing that will get a man to realize exactly what it is he has and take the next step toward a more committed relationship is moving out or otherwise letting him know that he could actually lose you. She tells the story of a former student of hers that was struggling with stagnancy. She loved her child’s husband, and he loved her… but the relationship just wasn’t moving forward. When the woman approached her man with the idea to move into her parents home with their baby and do some thinking away from him, he immediately proposed.

Men want to feel as though they’re reaching for you—don’t give him the opportunity to think of you as low-status or that you don’t have other options. According to Duana, men want to be a “superhero” for the women they admire. Allow your man to actively and avidly admire you, and be warm, friendly, and welcoming when you do decide to engage.

Jealousy Can Make Him Realize What You Mean to Him

Duana also explains that causing a bit of jealousy in a relationship can be a good thing when it comes to determining if a relationship is capable of moving to the next level. If you’re struggling to determine his interest and investment in you, jealousy has the powerful ability to reveal a man’s innermost feelings about a woman he’s with or seeing.

Remember, though—giving a man an ultimatum can backfire on you! Don’t make him feel as though his back is in a corner, a feeling that could make him rebel later on in the relationship and leave you heartbroken. A man won’t make the decision to move a relationship to the next level when you lower your status by chasing him, but he will make that decision through your absence or your presence with another man.

What do you think about Dauna’s tips on building a committed relationship? Leave your thoughts in the comments below!

About the Guest: Duana found that her interests had been shifting over the years to the psychology of relationships. With a PhD in developmental psychology, she was convinced that if she could use her background to help others, she could in turn help herself better understand how romantic relationships work. Duana soon began writing books with dating advice for women.

If you want to know the secrets on where to meet men, then check out my eBook, “The Secrets to Meeting Men!” – Find out how to meet men!

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by Suzanne Oshima

Suzanne K. Oshima is a Matchmaker, Dating Coach & Founder at Dream Bachelor & Bachelorette. She is also the Founder of Single in Stilettos, which gives women the best dating advice & tips to help them meet, attract & keep the one. Suzanne has been seen on Bravo TV, The Today Show, Good Afternoon America, Inside Edition, BBC Radio, Glamour Magazine, Men’s Health and much more!

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Experts seen on:
Bravo TVOprahToday ShowGMAGlamourInside Edition