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Show #202: My guest on the show is Dr. Jed Diamond, Author of several books, but most recently “The Enlightened Marriage”
The 5 Most Terrifying Words to a Man
This week, I welcome back Dr. Jed Diamond, the author of The Enlightened Marriage. Working as a psychotherapist for many years, Jed made it his mission to learn from the struggles of his past marriages to teach others to make stronger connections through a focus on male issues within relationships.
All too often, women get caught up thinking about the things they say and do around men. On this week’s show, Jed offers relationship advice for women who are worrying about whether or not they’re saying the right things as we discuss the five most terrifying words to a man.
“Honey, We Need to Talk.”
Ladies, think twice before saying to your man, “Honey, we need to talk.” This phrase can mean a desire for a stronger, deeper connection for a women. As a woman, you feel that inherent desire to fix the problems that are burdening the connection – it feels natural to want to discuss the issue in an effort to resolve it. To a man, however, those words are like nails on a chalkboard. He feels as though he’s about to get reprimanded and criticized for his actions – he doesn’t feel as though he’s being approached to strengthen the relationship and work together to fix problems that have arose.
A man deeply desires to please the woman that he’s with, so when you feel the urge to “talk” to your man, approach him in a way that doesn’t suggest criticism. Take into the account the ways in which men best communicate, and use that knowledge to get your point across and encourage him to open up about his own thoughts and feelings.
According to Jed, the ways in which men communicate are evolutionarily different from females. As a woman, you’re nurturing – you feel the need to talk face-to-face with your man to effectively pinpoint the root of your relationship’s issues. In the days of the hunters, Jed explains, the only eyes that were ever on a man were those of the predator. For many men, then, it becomes difficult to accurately take in what their lady is telling them. Jed’s relationship advice for women who are struggling to communicate with their partner is to take a walk instead of insisting on a sit-down, face-to-face conversation. The side-to-side dynamic will allow the man to open up and better convey their thoughts, feelings, and opinions.
Have you ever had an experience when you said to your man, “Honey, we need to talk”? What do you think about Jed’s relationship advice for women? In the comments below, tell us your story!
About the Guest
Dr. Jed Diamond is also the accomplished author of several books. His most recent book, The Enlightened Marriage, describes the five stages that couples go through in every relationship.
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