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Show #76: He’s Great, But…

Dating Advice for Women - He's Great, But

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Show #76: My guest on the show is Sandra Fidelis, Dating Coach at SandraFidelis.com.

He’s Great, But I’m Just Not Attracted to Him!

If I got a dollar for every time a woman has said to me, “he’s great, but I’m just not that attracted to him!”, I could retire by now.

And every time a woman says that to me, I always ask her if she is open to going out on a second date with him, and the answer is 99% of the time, “no”.

It’s something I just don’t understand, because sometimes it so much more important how a man treats you, sense of humor, the connection you have, the common interests and core values you share…to me that’s so much more important than how attractive and hot a man is.

So, here’s some of the biggest dating mistakes a lot of women fall into after a first date:

  •  I want amazing chemistry on a first date

All too often, women will look for amazing chemistry on a first date, but it doesn’t always happen that way.

Sometimes what you may be looking for, is that same intense chemistry that you had with men in past relationships.  And that’s not always a good thing, because even though you had that intense chemistry, just remember those relationships didn’t work out for the long term.

So, it may be time to look at things a little differently when it comes to finding the right man for you.

  • I just wasn’t attracted to him

He’s a great catch, he treats you well, he’s kind, he’s respectful, he has his life in order, you could bring him home to meet your parents, BUT the attraction just isn’t there.

So, what you need to do, is ask yourself, do I really need a gorgeous man on my arm?

If you need that, then it may mean that you feel inadequate or insecure about yourself and you’re looking for his looks to validate you.

It’s important to be open, because believe it or not, attraction can develop later…

  • He was great, but I don’t want to go out on 2nd date

Just remember, everyone is nervous on a first date, so they aren’t truly themselves. So, you should always give it another date or so to see if the attraction or chemistry develops.

Because if you really think about all the men that you were so attracted to in the past and it didn’t work out with them, for one reason or another!

  • If you really can’t date him, then at least be his friend

While some men may have a hard time being your friend, after you let them down…you should still be open to being friends with him.

Why, you ask?

Because you never know what it may come out of it. And he might actually set you up with his friend, who you might be a better match for.  And you just might think of one of your girlfriends for him.

But it’s important to be clear about your intentions and let him know that you just want to be friends.

The important thing to remember when it comes to dating is that while you may think looks & attraction are important, it’s not what is the basis for a great relationship, boyfriend or husband! So, be more open when he’s a great man and don’t make the big mistake of passing on a second date with him.

If you want to know the secrets to attracting & keeping the right man, then check out our video series: The Secrets on Meet, Attract & Keep the Right Man!

 

Dating Tips for Women  Watch the Single in Stilettos Shows on YouTube

by Suzanne Oshima

Suzanne K. Oshima is a Matchmaker, Dating Coach & Founder at Dream Bachelor & Bachelorette. She is also the Founder of Single in Stilettos, which gives women the best dating advice & tips to help them meet, attract & keep the one. Suzanne has been seen on Bravo TV, The Today Show, Good Afternoon America, Inside Edition, BBC Radio, Glamour Magazine, Men’s Health and much more!

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Experts seen on:
Bravo TVOprahToday ShowGMAGlamourInside Edition