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Show #64: How to Get a Man to Open Up!

How to Communicate with Men

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Show #64: My guest on the show is Jonathon Aslay, Dating for Women at UnderstandWomenNow.com.

Jonathon gives the male perspective to women, on how men think, the way men act, and what love & sex mean to a man.  He’s the self proclaimed, guy spy to the male mind and the heart protector for women!

3 Tips on How to Get a Man to Open Up:

Have you ever dated a man and found it was really hard to talk or communicate with him because he just wouldn’t open up with you?

Don’t worry, it’s not you. A lot of men have a hard time opening up with the woman they date, because it’s something that doesn’t come naturally to them.

Some men do have commitment or fear based issues, and with them, they need to build trust.

Tip #1: Accept the Man for Who He Is!

If the man that you’re dating is closed off, it’s usually because he has trust issues and he’s going to need time to trust you before he’s willing to open up to you.

If you don’t accept him for who he is, then he’s going to become more closed off.

Don’t try to change a man into what you want him to be. It’s one of the worst things you can try to do to a man. Just accept him for who he is.

Tip #2: Know Your Timing!

If you there’s something that you need to talk to him about, it’s important to bring it up at the right time.

If he’s in the middle of something that’s really important to him, don’t bring it up right then. Find the right time!

The smart way to do it, is to ask him when is a good time to have a conversation.  If you get his “permission”, you’re getting his ‘buy in’ and commitment to want to talk to you.  By approaching it this way, you’re making him a participant in the decision to talk about whatever it is that you want to talk about.

Tip #3: Think Win, Win!

It’s important to have a conversation, not a confrontation. If you approach it from a conversation perspective, he’s more likely to open up, instead of trying to defend himself against whatever you’re saying.

You want it to be a win, win situation. Give him a reason, as to why it’s good for him and it’s good for you.

And at all costs, avoid saying to a man these dreaded words, “We need to talk!”.  If you say that, he’s going to get defensive because he’s going to think that he did something wrong.

Instead say to him, “I would love it if you would do this…”, instead of saying, “I need you to do this…”, because men love to please a woman and if you just change the way you say something, you’re more likely to get what you want.

Just remember, men are more logical thinkers, where as women are more emotional thinkers.

If you want to know the secrets to attracting & keeping the right man, then check out our video series: The Secrets on Meet, Attract & Keep the Right Man!

Dating Tips for Women  Watch the Single in Stilettos Shows on YouTube

by Suzanne Oshima

Suzanne K. Oshima is a Matchmaker, Dating Coach & Founder at Dream Bachelor & Bachelorette. She is also the Founder of Single in Stilettos, which gives women the best dating advice & tips to help them meet, attract & keep the one. Suzanne has been seen on Bravo TV, The Today Show, Good Afternoon America, Inside Edition, BBC Radio, Glamour Magazine, Men’s Health and much more!

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Experts seen on:
Bravo TVOprahToday ShowGMAGlamourInside Edition