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Show #192: The 5 Stages of Love and Why Many Stop at Stage 3

5 Stages of Love

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Show #192: My guest on the show is Dr. Jed Diamond, Author of several books, but most recently “The Enlightened Marriage”.

My guest on this week’s show is Dr. Jed Diamond, a psychotherapist that has been helping men and woman create stronger relationships for over 40 years. He is also the accomplished author of several books. His most recent book, The Enlightened Marriage, describes the five stages that couples go through in every relationship.

This week, Dr. Diamond and I discuss these five stages of love and why most couples never make it past the third stage.

The first stage of love is one that Jed calls “Falling in Love.” During this early period, couples experience an overwhelming head-over-heels feeling for each other. The chemistry feels strong, and it feels as though they’ve finally found that special someone.

During the second stage of love, couples start building a life together. Whether this period means marriage, moving in together, or simply deciding to make the relationship more serious, this stage marks the creation of a long-term commitment to each other.

The third stage of love is often a time at which relationships begin to dissolve. This period of disillusionment, Jed says, is one when where individuals begin to see their partner for who they truly are. The allusions they have projected onto their partner begin to fade away, and couples may find themselves clashing. While this stage may be the most difficult to get through, it is the point within relationships that couples can begin to heal the wounds of their abusive pasts and work toward a healthier future together.

In what he calls “Real Lasting Love,” the fourth stage, couples have worked through their difficulties with healing the pain of their pasts. They begin to experience some of the same feelings they felt during the “Falling in Love” stage of their relationship.

The fifth and final stage, “Finding Your Calling as a Couple,” is one in which partners share their love with the world. They begin to think about the unique gift they both can share as two people who have deepened their love and taken the steps to create a happy and healthy relationship.

What do you think about the journey that all couples must go on to accomplish real lasting love? In the comments below, let us know your thoughts on Dr. Diamond’s five stages of love.

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by Suzanne Oshima

Suzanne K. Oshima is a Matchmaker, Dating Coach & Founder at Dream Bachelor & Bachelorette. She is also the Founder of Single in Stilettos, which gives women the best dating advice & tips to help them meet, attract & keep the one. Suzanne has been seen on Bravo TV, The Today Show, Good Afternoon America, Inside Edition, BBC Radio, Glamour Magazine, Men’s Health and much more!

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Experts seen on:
Bravo TVOprahToday ShowGMAGlamourInside Edition